


Learn To Love Yourself

by SocialDegenerate



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Autofellatio, Exhibitionism, First Time, M/M, Masturbation, Praise Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-06
Updated: 2016-11-06
Packaged: 2018-08-29 09:32:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8484253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SocialDegenerate/pseuds/SocialDegenerate
Summary: Victor teaches Yuuri to become more attuned to his sexual side.

  “Tonight,” Victor said, and his thumbs were rubbing little circles on Yuuri’s hips, making him painfully aware of the slight layer of fat that still padded some of his stomach, “I want you to become more comfortable with your body.”





	

**Author's Note:**

> There is a distinct lack of fics in this fandom that take advantage of how goddamn flexible these two must be, so here I am to pull my usual bullshit.

“You’re too tense.”

If the hand rubbing small circles on Yuuri’s upper back was meant to _remove_ his tension, it wasn’t working. Victor was too open with his affection, too casually touchy and too much at ease with his own body; his very presence felt more intimate than it should have, Yuuri’s much more reserved brain accidentally blurring the line between friendship and...something else.

‘ _Victor is just being friendly’_ had become an almost constant refrain on Yuuri’s mind, as he tried to desperately convince himself that Victor didn’t mean anything _untoward_ by his constant closeness. But Victor was beautiful, even more so in person than in the airbrushed photos that Yuuri had stared at for so long, and Yuuri had spent a few too many formative teenage years with nothing to look at except Victor in various skin-tight outfits.

It stood to reason that his brain associated Victor with arousal, and the _constant touching_ really wasn’t helping Yuuri deal with the fact that he couldn’t be getting hard every time Victor smiled at him. Besides, it wasn’t like _Victor Nikiforov_ , a living legend who could have his pick of anyone and everyone in the world, would ever see a chubby loser who crumbled under pressure like that.

“ _Yuu~ri_ ,” Victor cooed, dragging Yuuri out of his own head, “You’d better be deep in thought about the routine, or else I’ll think that you’re ignoring me.”

“Ah! Y-yes,” Yuuri stammered, cheeks flaming red. For a second, he’d forgotten that he was still out on the ice, Victor lounging casually next to him against the edge of the rink. He had to _focus_ ; he couldn’t be thinking about inappropriate things while Victor was scrutinising his every movement.

“Well, once more,” Victor said, and the hand on Yuuri’s back suddenly shoved him back out towards the centre of the ice. Catching himself before he could do something mortifying like faceplanting the ice, Yuuri skated into position, desperate to find his eros and impress Victor.

But he wasn’t an accomplished playboy, sweeping women off their feet, and the only thing he could feel welling in himself was unfulfilled need and absolute inexperience. He was already ashamed of himself from how poorly he could feel his performance going, and it only got worse when he fumbled a landing, just barely managing to right himself and keep going.

“Relax!” Victor yelled out, and as if Yuuri could. “Eros, Yuuri, eros! You look like a frustrated virgin, not a confident playboy!”

This time Yuuri did fall, his blade catching on the ice and sending him tumbling forward. Thankfully, nothing hurt except his pride, and Yuuri heard Victor skate over to him before strong hands were pulling him back to his feet.

“Are you alright?” Victor asked, and his hands were running down Yuuri’s arms, searching for damage. Yuuri almost fell over again when Victor suddenly dropped to one knee right there on the ice, his hands brushing over Yuuri’s knees, and he couldn’t stop himself from skating back away from those fingers.

“I’m fine,” Yuuri said a little too loudly, wondering if he imagined the slight flash of hurt in Victor’s eyes. Standing up again, Victor pushed his hair back, his expression suddenly back to being neutral.

“Warm down, Yuuri, and don’t forget to stretch. That’s enough for today.”

Skating off the ice, Victor was gone before Yuuri could say anything else, leaving him to mechanically run through his warm down routine in a daze. He tried to clear his mind while stretching, aiming for an almost meditative state, but his pushy thoughts refused to leave him alone.

Was it _really_ so obvious that he was, in fact, a frustrated virgin? Skating took up too much of his time, and he’d never liked going out with some of his fellow skaters, making it basically impossible for him to have ever met anyone he’d like to sleep with. Of course, he hadn’t been _frustrated_ until Victor had dropped into his life without warning, with his constant nudity and too-easy touches and unbearable intimacy.

The man oozed sensuality and sexuality, and the only thing Yuuri could say was that he was glad that he’d long come to terms with the fact that he liked men more than women. If he’d been dealing with a gay crisis on top of everything else, he thought that he’d be locked up in his room and refusing to leave.

Standing up and shaking out his loose, tired body, Yuuri let his head hang as he sighed. The sound became a strangled yelp when a hand suddenly grabbed his shoulder, Yuuri whipping around to see Victor smiling at him.

“I think I know what your problem is.”

Sighing again, Yuuri held his hand out, accepting the glasses that Victor passed him. Now that he could see properly again, the suspicious gleam in Victor’s eyes was too damn obvious, and Yuuri swallowed hard.

“I’m focusing too much on the technical aspects, and not the performance.”

“What? No. Well, yes, but that’s not what I mean,” Victor replied, sweeping his fringe out of his eyes. “Yuuri, you need to become more comfortable with your body. Your eros comes from within, but your mind and body aren’t in tune with each other.”

Yuuri was trapped in place as Victor’s hands ran down his sides, half of him wanting Victor to touch him more and the other half wanting to run and hide in shame before Victor could see that he was enjoying it _too_ much. “I have homework for you tonight.”

Victor’s hands were on his hips and all Yuuri could do was stutter out a dumb, “H-huh?”

“Tonight,” Victor said, and his thumbs were rubbing little circles on Yuuri’s hips, making him painfully aware of the slight layer of fat that still padded some of his stomach, “I want you to become more comfortable with your body.”

“ _What_?” Yuuri squawked, even as he made no move to escape from Victor’s hold.

“The best way to find your eros is to love yourself,” Victor said, voice low and tempting. “Do you get what I mean, Yuuri?”

Yuuri’s mouth was dry and he _thought_ he knew what Victor was saying, but it wasn’t something that he could say out loud. Instead, he nodded shakily, nearly stumbling when Victor suddenly let him go to clap his hands in front of his chest once, a bright smile on his face.

“Good! We’ll have you seducing people in no time.”

Turning around like he hadn’t just ordered Yuuri to touch himself, Victor strolled casually towards the exit of the rink, leaving Yuuri to fumble his belongings together and catch up. The walk home passed by with Victor’s running commentary about anything and everything, Yuuri too caught up in his own thoughts to properly respond. Victor either didn’t notice or didn’t care, and Yuuri let the babble wash over him.

* * *

Dinner was an awkward affair, although Yuuri didn’t think that anyone else saw the knowing looks that Victor kept shooting at him. He hoped that everyone just put his obvious discomfort down to the upcoming competition with the other Yuri, instead of figuring out that he was dealing with some _very uncomfortable_ thoughts about his coach.

Still, it didn’t help that the minute he put his chopsticks down at the end of the meal, Victor was already standing up and smiling innocently. “We’re starting early in the morning, both of you. Go to bed so that you can practice at your best.”

Yuri grumbled and bitched as he slowly stood up, but Yuuri was silent and awkward as he tried to avoid Victor’s knowing eyes. Yuuri had heard that dogs were supposed to be good at sensing human emotions, but the obviously uncomfortable atmosphere didn’t seem to bother Makkachin, the poodle playfully winding around Yuuri’s legs as he stood up.

Victor whistled sharply and the dog was back at his own feet, stretching up into the hand petting at their head. “Leave Yuuri alone, Makkachin. He has to finish his homework so that his routine can get better.”

That was the final straw, and Yuuri fled the room in embarrassment, hearing Victor laugh as Yuri grumbled something about _playing favourites_. He completed his bedtime routine in a daze, stretching it out as long as possible but unable to avoid the inevitable thoughts that flooded in once he was comfortable in bed.

Was Victor thinking about him touching himself? Would he _like_ the thought, or was it just something that he thought Yuuri needed to do to make his skating better?

At least Yuuri hadn’t bothered to put the posters of Victor back up, so he wasn’t surrounded by multiple copies of the same beautiful face staring at him.  

Even with his painful discomfort, thoughts of Victor and the amount of times a younger Yuuri had masturbated while surrounded by pictures of Victor were stirring Yuuri’s body, getting him hard even as he very resolutely _didn’t_ touch himself.

He _couldn’t_.

It was too embarrassing, masturbating while Victor knew exactly what he was doing, especially when Victor had been his favourite teenage fantasy. The line between ‘idol’ and ‘coach’ had already become painfully blurred, and Yuuri didn’t know if he could stop himself from doing something _incredibly_ stupid if he let himself get off to thoughts of Victor now.

He didn’t know how long he spent flat on his back, staring at the ceiling and ignoring the insistent throbbing of his cock, but he nearly had a heart attack when there was a sudden knock at his door.

“Yuuri!” Victor called through the door, and Yuuri had to remind himself to breathe. “Are you doing what I asked?”

“What? N-no!” Yuuri said, feeling a growing blush in his cheeks again.

“Well, that’s no good,” Victor replied, and Yuuri could picture his frown. “I’m coming in.”

“No!” Yuuri yelped, but there was no time for him to reach the door as it began to open. Instead, he could only scramble to get underneath the covers on his bed, curling up on his side and glaring at the door as Victor stepped into the room. He thankfully closed the door behind him, leaving Makkachin on the other side, and Yuuri cursed himself for only getting harder at the interruption.

“Now, tell me what’s wrong,” Victor said, walking over and sitting on the end of Yuuri’s bed. Yuuri wanted to yell at him, tell him to leave; but if he was being true to himself, he knew that all he really wanted was for Victor to join him. It was an impossible dream, though; Victor just lacked boundaries.

It didn’t mean anything.

“Nothing.”

“ _Yuuri_ ,” Victor sighed, sounding exasperated. “You’ll never find your eros if you keep shying away from anything sexual.”

“I’m not having this conversation,” Yuuri said, voice muffled as he pulled his covers over his head. He felt a little better now that he couldn’t see Victor; it made the whole situation seem less real, more like one of the many dreams he’d had as a teenager where he entranced Victor so much that the man took him wherever they happened to be.

The hand that stroked his head through the blankets was real, though, and Yuuri reluctantly let himself enjoy it while Victor couldn’t see his face.

“I’m not like you,” Yuuri eventually said, and he wasn’t even sure if Victor could hear the quiet words. “I’m not...eros isn’t me. I’m just not like that.”

“Like what?” Victor asked, his hand stilling. “Sexy? You’re right, you’re not _me_ , but no one else is. You’re beautiful, Yuuri.”

Yuuri made an unconvinced sound, and suddenly the covers were being pulled away from him. He felt like prey under Victor’s appraising eyes, and suddenly it didn’t seem like this was just a too-friendly foreigner anymore.

“Yuuri, look at me,” Victor said, soft yet demanding, and Yuuri slowly opened eyes that had been screwed shut. Victor was smiling at him and it filled Yuuri with warmth, although he didn’t uncurl his body.

“I’ve been with the most beautiful women, and the most beautiful men,” Victor said, and Yuuri _really_ didn’t need a reminder of that. “They all had something about them that made them uniquely gorgeous. You have it too, Yuuri, somewhere underneath all that self-doubt of yours. You just need to find it.”

“I don’t know how,” Yuuri admitted quietly, and for a few moments they both sat there in silence, until Victor straightened his spine and stared right into Yuuri’s eyes.

“I’ll help you.”

“ _What?_ ”

“I’ll help you find your eros.”

“I…”

“Ask me, Yuuri.”

“...”

“I won’t do anything unless you ask me.”

“...Victor.”

“Yes?”

“W-would you...help me find my e-eros?”

Victor’s smile was as bright and beautiful as the sun, and Yuuri irrationally wondered if he would go blind if he didn’t look away.

“Of course, Yuuri.”

* * *

Although Yuuri had lived through it, he wasn’t sure if he could explain how he’d ended up naked in bed, with an equally naked Victor Nikiforov looming over him and kissing him between whispered affirmations of how beautiful he was.

The attention was almost too much for Yuuri, but he still reached desperately for Victor when the man rolled to one side, settling next to Yuuri and running a slow hand down his chest.

“I’ve wanted you since I saw you perform my routine,” Victor admitted, his hand reaching Yuuri’s stomach and then trailing back up again. “But this isn’t about me. I’m going to teach you to love yourself.”

Propping himself up on one elbow, Victor let his hand splay flat on the centre of Yuuri’s chest. “Touch yourself for me. Show me how sexy you are.”

Swallowing hard, Yuuri let a trembling hand reach down to his crotch, intensely aware of the way that Victor was watching him. Even if he’d touched himself thousands upon thousands of times before, the pressure to _perform_ had him struggling to find a natural rhythm, his movements stiff and a little uncomfortable.

“Relax,” Victor whispered in his ear, but that only made things worse. Yuuri felt like a failure; no wonder he couldn’t find his eros, if he couldn’t even masturbate right. It wasn’t a surprise that he’d never managed to sleep with anyone.

Warm fingers travelled down Yuuri’s arm, clasping around his wrist and stopping the motion of his hand. “Is masturbation something you do just to fulfil a need?”

Yuuri couldn’t say that he’d ever really thought about it. He mostly did it whenever his body got too demanding, which was far less now than it had used to be; it wasn’t something he did just because he wanted to feel good. Tentatively, he nodded, making Victor hum in thought.

“We need to shake things up a bit. Do you have any toys?”

Yuuri’s eyes widened in shock, making Victor laugh quietly. “No, of course you don’t. Well, if I touch you, then it will ruin the whole point...Oh!”

Victor sat up, a determined look on his face. “I’m going to show you something that got me through a lot of long, lonely nights.”

It scared Yuuri how quick he was to trust Victor, letting the man reposition his naked and aroused body as he liked. He couldn’t think too much beyond the fact that Victor was naked between his spread legs, leaning in for another deep, affectionate kiss, and he didn’t really care.

Hell, he wasn’t even sure if he hadn’t just fallen asleep while staring at his ceiling, making the whole thing a hyper-realistic dream.

“Are you ready?” Victor asked, pulling back with his lips swollen and glistening. It was every one of Yuuri’s teenage fantasies come true, and all he could do was nod.

“Tell me if it hurts. I don’t want you to injure yourself.”

That should have worried Yuuri, considering that he didn’t know what Victor was planning, but he truly did trust Victor to have his best interests at heart. The hands on his thighs, pushing his legs up into the air, sent excitement rather than worry through him, and Yuuri just breathed as he felt the slightest beginnings of a stretch run through his muscles.

When Victor began to roll him up onto his shoulders, his spine leaving the mattress, Yuuri suddenly began to realise where Victor was going with this. Logically, he knew that he was probably flexible enough for it; but he’d never actually tried it out on his own, too worried about injuring himself and ruining his career over something that stupid.

But under Victor’s careful, capable hands, Yuuri knew that he could do it.

“Excellent, Yuuri. How do you feel?”

“Good,” Yuuri said, a little breathless and voice a little strained from his rolled-up position. His legs were thrown over Victor’s shoulders, and he was fairly certain that he could feel Victor’s hard cock pressing against him, and the whole thing should _not_ have been as hot as it was. But he could feel his own dick leaking precome against his stomach, and he was ready for Victor to push him further. “Keep going.”

“Beautiful,” Victor murmured, and he began to slowly bend Yuuri in half. It was certainly a different kind of stretch than Yuuri was used to, but it wasn’t painful or uncomfortable; years of stretching and ballet had left him much more flexible than the average man, and from the sound of it, Victor was more than acquainted with the concept.

The thought of Victor, alone and sucking his own dick, had Yuuri moaning helplessly. Maybe it was gross to blow himself, but if he managed to make it look even _half_ as good as he imagined Victor could, then he would try. He just wanted to turn Victor on, to make him feel some of the pleasure that the thought of Victor had given Yuuri over the years.

“Almost there,” Victor said, and Yuuri realised with a start that he could probably reach the head of his cock with his tongue. He was really starting to feel the stretch now, but it didn’t feel like too much, and he knew he could have done even better had he warmed up beforehand.

Victor groaned long and low when Yuuri parted his lips, accepting the dripping head of his cock into his mouth. At first he was tentative, caught off-guard by the taste and the fact that it felt like nothing he’d ever done before; but encouraged by Victor’s constant murmurs about how good he looked, he soon found himself sucking hard at the inch or two he could comfortably reach while he experimented with his tongue.

“Does it feel good?” Victor asked, not really expecting an answer as he remained a comforting presence against Yuuri’s body. “It _looks_ good, Yuuri. You’re amazing, doing so well for me.”

The praise sent something unbearably hot through Yuuri’s body, and he felt precome hit his tongue. The taste was nothing compared to the sensation, and he moaned a little around his cock, feeling more turned on than he ever had before.

“So gorgeous,” Victor said, and Yuuri heard something that sounded like Victor touching himself.

Was _this_ what it felt like to be sexy? To be _wanted_?

Yuuri couldn’t say that he’d found his eros, but he’d certainly found _something_ , and he let Victor’s words imprint themselves on his mind. As hard as it was to believe, Victor found him gorgeous and beautiful and, apparently, worthy of getting off to; that was almost hotter than the overwhelming physical sensations of sucking himself off, and Yuuri was quickly losing himself.

Reaching up to wrap his hands around his thighs, Yuuri pulled his legs in closer, huffing breaths through his nose as he swallowed more of his cock. He wasn’t confident about safely taking too much more, but it didn’t matter; he could hear Victor jerking himself off faster, letting out quiet little moans as he went, and his own cock was jerking in his mouth as his gut tightened.

Yuuri’s mind was fuzzy with pleasure but he was still aware of Victor watching him, scrutinising his every movement as surely as he did on the ice. It was all too much, and Yuuri felt himself begin to shake as his orgasm took over.

The first shot of come that flooded his mouth took Yuuri by surprise, his mouth opening in shock and his cock slipping loose to spend the rest across his face.

“Perfect,” Victor said, sounding a little breathless, still touching himself with one hand even as he slowly unrolled Yuuri until he was flat on the bed, his legs splayed on either side of Victor’s kneeling form. “You’re so perfect, Yuuri. Look at how hard I am for you.”

“Victor…” Yuuri mumbled, still dazed.

“Can I come on you, Yuuri?”

“ _Yes_ ,” Yuuri gasped, and he shivered at the way Victor groaned as he moved to loom over Yuuri again. Victor’s tongue was warm and wet against Yuuri’s skin as he cleaned up the come that Yuuri had spilled across his face, and Yuuri eagerly welcomed the kiss that Victor pulled him into afterwards.

Victor was panting into his mouth, as close to undone as Yuuri had ever seen him, and Yuuri gasped when come hit his stomach, Victor letting Yuuri’s mouth muffle his groans.

After a few moments, Victor rolled to the side again, looking at Yuuri with soft eyes. “Do you understand now?”

“I’m...I’m getting there,” Yuuri said, still not quite able to put a coherent thought together.

“When you’re on the ice, remember how good you just felt. Remember how good you made _me_ feel. Channel it. Excite the audience.”

Yuuri still wasn’t sure if he had it in him to be a playboy, but _something_ had clicked, and he suddenly felt more confident that he could pull the routine off. Smiling tiredly at Victor, he let himself reach out, touching the hair and face that had haunted his fantasies for so long.

“...Thank you, Victor.”

“I would do anything for you.” Victor turned his face into Yuuri’s hand, leaving a soft kiss on the open palm, and then he was standing up again, completely comfortable in his nudity.

“Well, I’ll see you on the ice in five hours. Don’t be late!”

Grinning, Victor grabbed his clothes and headed for the door.

“What? Victor, come on, you can’t be serious!”

“No excuses!” Victor sang, blowing a kiss to Yuuri before disappearing- still naked- out the door.

Yuuri could only slap both hands over his face, helplessly smiling stupidly wide, his shoulders shaking with silent laughter.

Victor Nikiforov really was something else, and Yuuri would seduce him with his eros if it was the last thing he did.

**Author's Note:**

> [Visit me on Tumblr](http://socialdegenerate.tumblr.com)


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